If you can?t imagine anyone linking to what you?re about to write, don?t write it. ~Clay Shirky
As we get more sophisticated with our tools, our tools become more ensconced in our everyday lives. Ask anyone who uses Facebook or Twitter regularly what they would do if someone took away their social networks. Outrage! Horror! Shock! Dismay?

I like you but…

For anyone who functions online email is a necessary evil. By the pure essence of its name it is ‘Electronic MAIL’ but it’s so much more than that. Email has become the equivalent of text-messaging on steroids with a call waiting/voicemail feature. Also included: Telemarketer call filtering feature at no extra charge! Or does it do that anymore? Has our eagerness to expand our communication tools started to erode the safeguards we already take for granted unbeknownst to most of us?

A friend in need

I’m an active member in Facebook. Some of my contacts exist primarily there because making little digital comments is easier than emotionally investing in their voice. Others exist there as a fuller extension of relationships that started on Twitter. With all of my Facebook friends I receive notices in my email anytime I participate in a thread and the conversation escalates or when someone tags me in any capacity. This feature can be extremely helpful as I’m not always hanging around in Facebook but check everytime my iPhone alerts me of an email notification. In theory this is great but in practice it’s fraught with all types of peril, abuse and just sheer utter annoyance.

Everyday I love you less and less

Being tagged in any form of media can be annoying if you aren’t specifically mentioned in it. The real problem comes into play when the conversation around said media escalates to epic proportions. That’s when the immense amount of Friendspam begins. Facebook’s way to combat this is by putting the onus on the user to untag yourself.

When you tag yourself or one of your friends in a friend’s photo (or they tag someone in your photo), the tag request will be automatically approved. These changes were made to simplify the tagging process for the owner of the photo. Please note that you can set your notifications so that you always know when someone tags you or one of your photos. If you wish to remove a tag made on a photo that you uploaded, please select the “remove tag” link when viewing the photo.

Simplification may have been the reason behind updating the tagging process but giving free reign of this tool has complicated it’s use immensely. Ideally one should tag a photo/video/note when a person appears in it in order to notify said person. Tagging can also organize & archive the media into an area that is searchable. The abuse of this feature comes into full swing when people create memes. They create new notes and tag their “friends” with this social media chain letter. It’s all in good fun, isn’t it?

First do no harm

From the Notes About Me page, click on the title of the note you don’t like. On the right side of the page, under “In this note,” you will see your profile photo and name. Simply click “remove tag” under your name. The note will no longer lead to your profile.

All of this assumes that you have access to “remove tag”. The Facebook iPhone app & mobile application are woefully inadequate when it comes to this function. In fact, these applications are so rudimentally basic that it’s a pain to view links to anything- when friends post updates or actually send you something. So what does one do to take all of this into account?

1. Think before you act. Know your audience well. Ask yourself if the person being tagged would appreciate being alerted to the piece of information, especially if they are not mentioned in it specifically.
2. Set a time limit. If the person does not happen to be in the media that they are being tagged in give an adequate amount of time for them to see it. After the pre-set time, remove their tag from the media so they will not see any future developments with it.
3. Place a disclaimer. Don’t assume that everyone knows how to untag something. Not everyone does. If posting a note writing one line pointing people to where they can remove the tag is easy enough to do. If the content is a photo or a video then start off the comments yourself by writing something of value- after all you are the host for this mini-party. After your engaging comment, tack on a one line sentence of tag removal.
4. Be mindful. As the host you are also the moderator. Pay attention to the conversation developing on your media. It is your responsibility to cut it off if it’s going on for too long. Also, if the content is becoming too random, too polarized, too weird or just between two people then tell them to get a room (take it to their pages). This is your “house”. You have the right to kick out any guest as you see fit.
5. Consider others. When participating in other people’s threads always keep in mind that anyone previously commenting will receive an email update each and every time the conversation grows. Ask yourself if your comment adds in a relevant, valuable & interesting way i.e. no one wants a heavy political debate in a lighthearted discussion.

Use your head, no not that one- mind your manners

If you’re interested in this topic beyond the etiquette aspect of it [there will be more articles on this], Henry Jenkins wrote an amazing 8 part whitepaper on content being spread called “If It Doesn’t Spread It’s Dead”. I highly suggest you read it as it truly has some fascinating in depth insights on the subject.

1. If It Doesn’t Spread, It’s Dead: Media Viruses and Memes
2. If It Doesn’t Spread, It’s Dead: Sticky and Spreadable — Two Paradigms
3. If It Doesn’t Spread, It’s Dead: The Gift Economy and Commodity Culture
4. If It Doesn’t Spread, It’s Dead: Thinking Through the Gift Economy
5. If It Doesn’t Spread, It’s Dead: Communities of Users
6. If It Doesn’t Spread, It’s Dead: Spreadable Content
7. If It Doesn’t Spread, It’s Dead: Aesthetic and Structural Strategies
8. If It Doesn’t Spread, It’s Dead: The Value of Spreadable Media