Follow Friday is a plague on Twitter and social media. It’s a Trojan Horse. It’s a seemingly harmless interaction wrapped in niceties. Even giving in to it one bit is fueling the fire even more. You’re a part of the problem if you’re not a part of the solution. Here’s why those who participate in follow friday don’t get social media and never will.

Social media isn’t about sharing at all costs. It’s about sharing at the best cost. It’s about pull NOT push.

Let’s relate follow friday into offline terms. You’re at a party (I know, because social media is one big party) and someone walks in saying that everyone there MUST know Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane. Now that’s not exactly social is it? The person literally just disrupted the party to tell everyone who they SHOULD know. It doesn’t matter if you know the disrupter or not. What matters is that the disrupter decided that their opinion was worth more than yours. They didn’t think of you first.

Social media is about pull. Social media is about personalization. Social media is about those two things plus connections. Take out pull and personalization and you just have the old way of doing things- a connection based on me telling you what to do. When you act without thinking of others first you come up with a bunch of unintended consequences.

To those of you who are moving Follow Friday off of Twitter to other areas I have one word of advice to you: don’t. You are the worst type of person, the enabler. SOCIAL MEDIA ISN’T ABOUT YOU. Social media is about everyone else. Start thinking of them first, not yourself. Blanket recommendations are akin to stereotypes- you’re covering a large landscape and inadvertently encompassing those who shouldn’t be involved in the first place.

The only way to break the cycle of me me ME is to think about you you YOU. If you care about the person you are promoting enough then TRULY care about them. Shouting to the world why they’re great is a step in the right direction but it doesn’t go far enough or stay true to social media. Personalize it.

Others and I have resorted to avoiding Twitter altogether on Fridays. The noise is so loud it drowns out the actual useful signal. I schedule blog posts around Friday now. If I’m writing about someone else they tell me to post it any day BUT Friday. This is the law of unintended consequences. It won’t be long until Friday is a day without any substance- the social media equivalent to junk food. It tastes good but you get sick of too much of it.

Remember, this is a party. What’s more meaningful- Having someone you may or may not know well proceed to tell the whole party exactly why Zoe is amazing OR having someone you know well introduce you two to each other because they feel the both of you would be a great fit? See the difference?

Social networking is a whole different ball game. Wait, no it isn’t. If you wouldn’t dream of doing what you do online in an offline setting then don’t do it. If you still think it’s okay to shout how awesome people are at other people (no matter how in-depth you get) then maybe you shouldn’t be in social media. Social media is about them not you. It’s not your time to shine it’s their time to shine. Be useful and thoughtful in all your interactions by micro-personalizing them.

THINK how your actions will affect another person before you do them. When you think of the other person first then it leaves little room for misinterpretation. Don’t be ‘that guy’ at the party and ruin it for everyone. Be the AMAZING party host that introduces two guests to one another. I GUARANTEE people will be talking about YOU before long.